


Other Lives in Other Lands

by Meridians_of_Madness



Category: Good Omens (TV), Red vs. Blue, The Good Place (TV)
Genre: Crossovers & Fandom Fusions, Existentialism, M/M, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:47:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488166
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Meridians_of_Madness/pseuds/Meridians_of_Madness
Summary: Good Omens crossovers and other assorted nonsense.
Relationships: Aziraphale/Crowley (Good Omens)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 15





	1. Me Against You- Red vs. Blue

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Who is running this Heavenly Host?!

The demon fell silent as the thunder rumbled above them and the cold rain started to fall. He reached up to pull Aziraphale's longest feathers a little further over his head like the edge of an umbrella, sending a tingle through Aziraphale's corporation that was oddly pleasant.

“Why're we here, angel?”

“Well, it's one of the great mysteries isn't it?” said Aziraphale, gazing out over the barren sand wastes where Adam and Eve had gone. “They do say She moves in mysterious ways, but perhaps we can see a part of Her plan in the smallest parts of Her design. Perhaps... perhaps She has gone on, leaving the great gears turning indifferently in Her stead, or perhaps, and I do hope this is true, She is merely watching us from far away, confident that... someday... everything will turn out all right.”

“Um.”

Aziraphale blinked, turning to look at the mystified demon.

“Er?”

“I meant why are we _here_ , on this wall. It's coming down cats and dogs.”

“Oh! Oh yes, I see...”

“What was all of that about God?”

Aziraphale blushed.

“Nothing...”

“Sure sounded like a thing,” said the demon Crowley, coming closer. “Why don't you tell me more about _that?”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Mostly the fault of [Gray_Days](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gray_Days)


	2. Not an Angel- The Good Place

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley's running one hell of a scam, and he needs a Good Place Aziraphale to do it. Then, as they always do, things go wrong.

Crowley shook his head, which was a mistake as it made it ache even more abominably than it had before.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait, _wait._ Aziraphale, you're telling me... you're telling me that _you're_ the cause of the earthquakes? This is all happening because you're _glitching out?”_

Aziraphale's calm smile did not change, but somehow it looked a touch more regretful than it had before.

“It may interest you to know that mathematically, there are equal chances that the neighborhood will im- _or_ explode.”

“That's not interesting at all,” Crowley snapped.

“Oh, well then,” said Aziraphale, somehow contriving to look a little miffed. Crowley bit back the urge to apologize.

“Just... what's the _problem?”_

“Ah! Well. That is unclear at this point in time. The glitches were small to begin with, and then they began to escalate, and then I came here looking for help, and then I began speaking, and then you looked at me with a strange longing in your eyes that you quickly hid with annoyance, and now, here we are.”

Aziraphale paused, giving Crowley a pleased look.

“Isn't this fun?”

Crowley groaned, scrubbing his hands through his hair.

“No, this is not, this is.. no. Aziraphale. Full diagnostic.”

“Of course.”

He snapped his fingers and an enormous leather-bound book appeared, thumping down on Crowley's desk and squashing the desk toy that Eleanor had given him. Aziraphale gestured towards it with a slight flourish.

“My user manual.”

Giving Aziraphale another wary look, Crowley went behind the desk, heaving the wood-board cover open.

“All right. Let's see... Welcome to your new Aziraphale. Aziraphales are brought to you by She Who Is Who She Is... No, no, not this, I need t' skip ahead...”

He turned over thick wads of pages, skimming past _Temptation and Your Aziraphale_ , _Wing Manifestation, Erotic_ and _Wing Manifestation, Intimidating_ , and finally halted at _Glitches_ , inscribed with a heavy Gothic G. Some whimsical hand had painted a tiny snake sleeping in the curl of the G, and Crowley scowled, refusing to be guilty.

“All right, what've we got... _In the event of malfunction, run the following tests. First test, basic corporeal function.”_

He turned to Aziraphale, who smiled at him, his hands folded politely in front of his belly.

“All right, up on the table.”

Aziraphale sat on the edge of the desk, letting his legs dangle slightly. He looked oddly boyish like this, perhaps even a touch bashful. Crowley manifested a thermometer and tried not to look too long at Aziraphale's lips as he parted them to accept the thin sliver of glass.

They waited, and then Crowley took it out, squinting at the red line.

“99...point 7 trillion. Bit on the high side, isn't that?”

“It often is when I'm around you,” Aziraphale supplied helpfully. Crowley decided to ignore that as well as the odd tight feeling it brought to his chest.

“Um. Right.”

He vanished the thermometer, checking the book again.

“All right, test two. _Object manifestation...”_

A wave of his hand brought up a carnival wheel studded with pegs and he gave it a spin, watching to see where the needle settled.

“All right... Aziraphale, I would like a sushi dinner made entirely of felt and served on an Oscar Wilde first edition.”

“Here you are,” said Aziraphale brightly.

Crowley looked it over carefully.

“Felt, salmon sushi roll, and... yup, that's _Salome,_ first edition.”

He dumped it into the wastebasket by his desk, vanishing the carnival wheel and returning to the manual.

“Third test _. Informational Accuracy. Glitches may be a sign that...”_

Crowley trailed off, staring at the words in front of him. He swallowed hard against the jagged stone in his throat.

“You stopped speaking,” Aziraphale said helpfully.

Crowley had never been a terribly good demon, and he had always been something of a coward, but this was only Aziraphale. He could give the truth to Aziraphale.

_"Glitches may be a sign that your Aziraphale is processing or disseminating information that is incompatible with objective truth.”_

He closed the book heavily, looking at Aziraphale. There was no trace of understanding on his soft face.

“Lying, Aziraphale,” he said in a small voice. “They're talking about lying. This is all my fault.”

Aziraphale smiled, tilting his head in that way that said he was still gathering information on the matter at hand.

“I told you a lie on the day we first met.”

He had sneaked Aziraphale out of the garden where the Good Place had apparently been stashing their Aziraphales, not stopping until he was safe back in his office. When Aziraphale had opened his eyes, Crowley felt a shiver of very demonic glee.

 _Hello, Aziraphale,_ he said, and when a brief doubtful shadow crossed Aziraphale's eyes, Crowley touched his shoulder gently.

_Don't worry. I'm going to take good care of you._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -This is me tearing off a stub of [clavicular](https://archiveofourown.org/users/clavicular/pseuds/clavicular) and [PrincexPhoenix](https://archiveofourown.org/users/PrincexPhoenix/pseuds/PrincexPhoenix)'s Good Good universe and wallowing in it.


End file.
